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Shit Lookalikes: Fearne and Holly

The Sun carries the 'news' today that Fearne Cotton and Holly Willoughby are great mates and are hanging out together. But my problem is this: which is which?!! It's not just me, is it? Do they really all look the same, or am I just a bit autistic? Help me out here. I need to know if I should be getting professional treatment, or at least have a reason to ask for extra time in exams and that.

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Panto Poll: Who's your fave, Dannii or Cheryl?

A cynic might say that Cheryl was only hired as an X Factor judge because show bosses know that two hotties on the panel might make for strained relationships and competitiveness. Turns out they seem to be getting on pretty well. But who is your fave? Do you trust the young whippersnapper? Perhaps you think it's time Dannii stepped aside?

Posted by on July 4, 2008 12:00 PM in Daily Poll| The X Factor
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Panto poll: Is Cheryl really too thin?

I think this one might divide people, and it's not a typical Panto issue... but it is about the X Factor, kinda, and it'd be remiss to avoid the issue altogether. Soon-to-be X Factor host Cheryl Cole, lots of people are saying, is 'painfully thin'. I'm always suspicious of skinny bashing, especially when it's accompanied by "such a pretty girl, too (sigh, shake of head). Such a shame." But enough about me. Cast your eyes over this and tell me: what do you think?

X Factor: Dannii's having fun without Sharon around

sharonosb.jpgThe more experienced you get at the reality show analysis game (and it is a game), the more you realise that when it comes to judges, they've either got it or they haven't. Sharon's got it, no doubt about that. But, pretty as she is in a sort of synthetic-hair, symmetrical-faced, if-you-like-that-kind-of-thing sort of way, Dannii's not even close. So she has a nerve, I think, to say that filming the new series of The X Factor without Shaz has been "a dream". Dannii told The Sun that judging alongside Mrs O had been uncomfortable, but things are better now. She said: "It's just a dream. It's a very different set. No more eyes down during commercial breaks trying not to look tense. It wasn't the sort of environment I wanted to be in." Hopefully this doesn't mean Cole hasn't got it either.

Sharon Osbourne to talk reality TV at Edinburgh

sharonosb.jpgYes, Sharon O will be discussing the reasons celebrities appear on reality shows at this year's snappily-titled MediaGuardian Edinburgh International Television Festival. Something of an expert on the topic, she'll share stories from her work on The Osbournes, The X Factor and America's Got Talent in a panel discussion called, wait for it, I'm A Celebrity: Get Me On TV.

A press release states: "In the last 12 months audiences have seen Jodie Marsh marry a stranger, Kerry Katona give birth, Steve Strange manage a hair salon, and dozens of others embarrassing themselves in the name of entertainment." The debate will address "why it seems some celebrities will do anything for exposure". Whether the debate will also address its own role in the fame game, and then within that discussion, discuss that discussion and so on, in a kind of abstract, reality tv-themed version of infinite cats, they carelessly omit to mention.

Girls Aloud jealous of Cole's X Factor role

gal.jpgAs we know, Cheryl has stepped eagerly into Sharon Osbourne's witchy boots on the X Factor judging panel, strengthening Cowell's claims that he always hires talent over looks. But the rest of the band are less than delighted. A source told Heat: "The other girls are very put out that Cheryl has landed the judging role. They knew she really wanted it, but some of them found the news hard to handle, especially Nadine." Bitches! What happened to the sisterhood? All goes out the window when there's a whiff of success, eh?

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Posted by on June 18, 2008 2:00 PM in The X Factor| Where Are They Now?
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Reality news round-up: Andy Abraham shuns X Factor, Claire's a dom, talent shows encourage degrees

aab.jpgAndy Abraham, our first port of call for quotes about the X Factor, of course, has said he might not bother watching X Factor any more now Sharon's gone. And, actually, he might have a point. It's a bit like taking Johnny Rotten out of the Sex Pistols and replacing him with, er, Cheryl Cole.

Claire Young, Apprentice runner-up, claims she gets messages from men asking her to be their dominatrix. "I have had some emails through my website from men saying they want to 'tame' me. They say I am a challenge." A challenge to soap, maybe. Have a wash, Claire!

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In the tabloids: Gordon Brown on the Apprentice, Andrew Johnston's been signed, Dannii and Cheryl already at war?

gb.jpgHacks are annoying, aren't they? What do you do when someone sticks a mic in your face and asks you a question about the Apprentice when you're busy trying to run the country? Luckily Gordon Brown's a reality show fan.

He said: "Alan Sugar is perfectly capable of making his decisions and we should support him in his decision. But generally my advice to people is to tell the truth when they are applying for jobs. Because as was found in this case, it always comes out anyway." It's Sir Alan to you, Gordo.

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X Factor: Cheryl Cole to replace Sharon?

I know what you're thinking - what's she got that Shazzer hasn't? Perhaps the show's priorities have changed... Mel B and Cheryl Cole have both been approached to judge on X Factor. Sharon told Radio 1's Chris Moyles that she'd heard the two had been approached. She gave Cheryl Cole her blessing.

Who would you rather watch?

Posted by on June 10, 2008 12:00 PM in The X Factor
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Sharon Osbourne quits X Factor 'over pay row'

sharoncry.jpgThe official line, of course, is that she thinks four years is quite enough, and it's time to move on. The goss is rather different. Rumour says that Sharon left the X Factor after bosses refused to grant her a £500,000 pay rise... and because of her ongoing feud with younger Dannii and jealousy of her chemistry with Cowell. So - what's really going on here? Is this really a story about female professional rivalry? Or would The Mail just like it to be? Will you miss Shazzer?

Posted by on June 9, 2008 10:00 AM in Latest News| The X Factor
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Eurovision UK: watch Andy Abrahams again

...and weep. Oh the performance was fine. Fine! Not bad. Maybe not brilliant, but certainly not dreadful. But old Wogan's right; it doesn't matter what we do, it'll never be good enough to persuade the rest of Europe to let us join in and play with the other boys and girls. And think of poor Andy. Rejected from the X Factor is one thing... being publicly disdained by the whole of Europe quite another. Plus they obviously tried to save money by making him wear the Scooch costume from last year.

American Idol: watch the results

Well, we all know who won by now (David Cook) - but did we actually see it being announced? And even if we did, would it hurt to watch it again? It would not. Click the big friendly arrow, now.

(PS: why are they all dressed as Simon Cowell?)
(PPS: imagine winning by 12 million votes!)

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