EastEnders stars banned from Strictly Come Dancing?

I love this headline. So suggestive. EastEnders stars... forbidden? Really? I know they're annoying but but actually banned? It's so deliciously extreme! And why, it just makes me want them more!

In fact this is about reports that the soap's producers can't spare anyone for the length of time that the dance show now lasts - the next series will be 16 weeks long. What can I tell you? Sometimes the truth is dull. Keep coming back though, don't you?

Reality TV news: Cheeky Girls' engagement, Matt cheated on Flavia, Myleene felt fat in bikini

Heatworld insists you HAVE to see these pictures from Lembit and Gabriela's engagement party. But I checked, and it turns out you don't.

There's a reality tv story intersection to beat them all, featuring as it does Strictly's Matt di Angelo, his dancing lover Flavia, Michelle from Liberty X, and the Daily Mail using the phrase "love rat".

And hold the front page! I have some breaking news you NEED to know before proceeding with your humdrum life... Apparently Myleene Klass felt fat in THAT bikini. No, rather misleadingly - not that one, that one.

Strictly Come Dancing - Zara Phillips to star?

Not since It's a Royal Knockout (before my time, honey) have we seen such surreal and wonderful things. Zara Phillips and her rugby player boyfriend Mike Tindall are apparently in talks to star in this year's Strictly Come Dancing. It's kind of a nice idea, but you have to ask yourself why someone like Zara would possibly agree to go on a show like this. Someone like Willie Thorne might be able to put the 20 grand to good use, I don't know. Maybe he needs a new conservatory. But Zara? What's in it for her? Producers are keen though, supposedly. A 'source' said: "The BBC are going all-out to get Zara and Mike to sign up. "They could be real contenders." They could be. They could also be an alternative reality version of Wayne and Coleen, judging by that photo.

Strictly Come Dancing - Matt and Flavia split?

Somehow less shocking or upsetting than the Chantelle/Preston split (yes, it's become something of a benchmark for these things), Matt and Flavia's rumoured break-up is nevertheless a bit of a surprise. The pair's romance stunned us at the time, although not as much as it stunned Flavia's boyfriend - Strictly star Vincent Simone who she'd been with for 11 years.

The former couple competed together again in the Strictly Come Dancing tour in the early months of this year, and since the show ended, Flavia's been back 'dancing with' Vincent - apparently putting pressure on her and Matt. Well, it's a shame but, you know... he was 21, she was 27. The age gap was insurmountable really.

Strictly Come Dancing - pro dancers bag pay increase

Seems everyone wants more dosh these days, even those who just do a bit of a dance for a living. Strictly Come Dancing's stable of professionals held out on offers of an extra £3,000 for the next series, and are now enjoying a pay boost six and a half grand - taking their earnings from £23,500 to £30,000. There's more 'work' involved, though. The show's run will extend to 14 weeks

An insider told the Sun: "It's a bit of a double-edged sword for the dancers. They'll get more cash, but will have to work longer to get it." They should ask for danger money, too. Those double edged swords can give you a nasty cut.

Suzanne Shaw's Roxy gets standing ovation

What can we say about Suzanne Shaw? She's a Dancing on Ice winner, and a former Hear'Say singer. She's done bits and pieces of presenting here and there. It's not a long or massively varied career, but what she's done, she's done well. (Just don't ask her opinion on the US presidential race. But hey, don't ask mine either.) She's familiar, is my point. And sort of vaguely so. In the nicest possible way.

So those of us who remember the 'My Little Pony' hair extensions of the early Hear'Say days will feel a sense of dewy-eyed "aw she's all growed up"-ness at the news that her first night as Roxy at the Cambridge Theatre production of Chicago has gone down a storm. Suzanne steps into the white-stiletto footsteps of fellow reality show veterans Denise Van Outen, Claire Sweeney and Jennifer Ellison. She will 'be' Roxy for the next six weeks.

Strictly judge was once rent boy

But ah, which one? Len? Bruno?! Surely not Arlene? No. It is of course Craig Revel Horwood who has revealed that he was once a £100-an-hour rent boy. Now a successful dancer and choreographer, Craig has made the brave or stupid decision to share the details with readers of his new autobiography, the title of which is almost up there with Julian Clary's memoirs. Craig's book, ladies and gentlemen, is called All Balls and Glitter: My Life.

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Katherine Jenkins "never claimed to be opera star"

I know, what's that about? Surely singing opera songs made it kind of implicit. Apparently not. At the first night of the Hay Festival, Forces Sweetheart and Welsh nationalist Jenkins revealed that she had never claimed to be an opera star.

She told the audience that opera was still her long-term aim. Jenkins claimed to have been "annoyed" about the criticism for her style of singing, such as when Dame Kiri Te Kanawa's described her as an "opera fake" earlier this year. But she said: "I have always set myself as 30 the time to go into opera." Oh, and quizzed on her relationship with Strictly Come Dancing star Gethin Jones, she replied simply: "He's fine". Spoilsport.

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Reality TV news: Bigger Brother, Fergie's back, Brucie's replacement? The Baron's insulting...

This year the Big Brother house will be a third bigger. Sounds good, but does it just mean that they're going to up the number of housemates too? I sure hope not. LESS IS MORE, Big Brother bosses. LESS. IS. MORE.

As you'll recall, Fergie's fly-on-the-wall show about telling poor people how to eat properly was cancelled after a dead man was found at the home of the family the cameras were following. Well, it is going ahead after all, and will be screened at the end of the month.

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What Americans think of 'Strictly' and 'Stars'

To celebrate the 100th episode of Dancing With The Stars, there's an interesting piece in Variety today about the pure disbelief with which the pitch was received by the states. Salient points below...

Conrad Green, the British "factual entertainment" chief who would become executive producer of ABC's version, said that the US was initially hesitant, and even the celebrity component didn't impress: "One network president said, 'If that works, I should resign.'"

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Shit Lookalikes: the young Kelly Brook and the Scarlet Pimpernel from Blackadder III

Not that Kelly Brook isn't young, of course (too young to get married anyway, apparently!) But pictures have come to light of the young Kelly, and I must admit to finding the spectacle a little creepy. Look at this as my way of dealing with the fear.

The Baron - starting tonight!

The wonderfully feudal-sounding series begins tonight with three 'celebs' (read: reality tv stalwarts) relocating to a remote Highland community to attempt to convince the locals to vote them in as their 'Baron'. What an extraordinary idea for a show.

Potential overlords this week will include singer/ice dancer/award winning mother Suzanne Shaw and Sex Pistols manager Malcolm McLaren. Couldn't get you a preview of the actual show, but don't worry - the clip over the jump is much, much better... isn't it? Hmm? Say: "Yes, my Gatekeeper."

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