Sarah Jessica Parker art show for Bravo?

SJP, according to some reports, will be bringing an art-themed reality show to US telly. 'American Artist' has been described as an art version of 'Project Runway' - you wonder why no one's done this before - with artists producing various works to be judged by a panel of experts. Presumably it's then decided, finally and forever, which is the 'best' piece of art. Quite where old Carrie Bradshaw fits into all this we're not sure. Maybe she's a life model.

SJP fans should check out this article about all the millions of other things she's doing these days; we do love her here at Panto, but at the end of the day we're just interested in the reality telly.

Britain's Got Talent: Sampson signed for top musical

Life just keeps getting better for everyone's favourite breakdancing jailbait. Not content with Natwest deals, dvds and performing in front of the Queen, George Sampson has just been signed up for an all-singing, all-dancing stage show called Into The Hoods. George will perform in the hip-hop show for four weeks, beginning on August 5th.

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Big Brother elsewhere: Ricky Gervais, Diva, caption competitions

Ricky Gervais is hooked on Big Brother! Who'd have thought it? His bizarrely-designed movie blog is constantly distracted by thoughts about the housemates, and he is backing Mario because he reminds him of David Brent.

The excellent Diva blog has regular commentaries on news from inside. Seriously, what's not to love about the Kafka quoting: 'The tedium keeps piling on night after night. To quote Franz Kafka "By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it. The nonexistent is whatever we have not sufficiently desired." I am still passionately, fervently believing that this years BB will actually provide a little highlight, a nugget of inspiration that will evoke a nation to greatness!' Kafkan, kids. It's the new Orwellian.

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Reality TV news: Cheeky Girls' engagement, Matt cheated on Flavia, Myleene felt fat in bikini

Heatworld insists you HAVE to see these pictures from Lembit and Gabriela's engagement party. But I checked, and it turns out you don't.

There's a reality tv story intersection to beat them all, featuring as it does Strictly's Matt di Angelo, his dancing lover Flavia, Michelle from Liberty X, and the Daily Mail using the phrase "love rat".

And hold the front page! I have some breaking news you NEED to know before proceeding with your humdrum life... Apparently Myleene Klass felt fat in THAT bikini. No, rather misleadingly - not that one, that one.

Philippe Starck to front new design reality show

Basically it's like The Apprentice, but more stylish. Designer Philippe Starck (he's the one that makes the juicers that look like War of The Worlds martian craft) will invite 25 potential designers to bid for one of 10 places on a design course in Paris. According to The Guardian, finalists will have the chance to test their mad skills on real design projects, with Starck gradually "whittling down the class". Hopefully literally.

At least one student will be rewarded with a six-month placement at Starck's design agency in Paris. The BBC said show would be open to "anyone who feels they have a talent for design, regardless of whether or not they have formal training", which is surely just asking for trouble...

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Reality news round-up: Cerys & Marc - on again? Alex Wotherspoon - next top model? Kerry Katona's mum - and Brian McFadden?

Three unlikely stories for you on a Monday morning. Let's start with Cerys and Marc. Here they are on a motorbike, riding around London. I'm caught between an 'awww' and a 'yaaaawn' especially as the Mail doesn't seem to have any more information than what was supplied by the guy with the long-lens. Daily Mail bad grammar collectors will be interested to hear that the article does include this intriguing line though: "Marc, 34, kissed Cerys on the head with his arm in between shopping at posh shop Jo Malone."

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Britain's Got Talent: George's song tops singles chart

Don't you just love the music industry nowadays? In my day, everyone in the country would have to get down to Woolworths and buy an LP before a record had a hope of topping the hit parade on the wireless. And now that you kids can 'download' 'tracks' we've got a situation where a song that accompanied a dance on a TV talent show can shoot to the top of the charts in a matter of hours. Mint Royale's remix of 'Singin' In The Rain' was used last week in the winning routine from teenaged breakdancer George Sampson. Rhianna's 'take a bow' has been knocked down to number 2.

New radio show: Big Brother's Big Ears

Welcome to the 2008 update of the traditional Orwellian nightmare, where Big Brother assaults all your senses and invades your world from every angle, on every frequency. Big Brother's Big Ears is the new radio show about the popular reality show, slightly anachronistic format perhaps (whatever happened to podcasts?), but they need to cover all bases I guess. Here's what the web page says...

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I'd Do Anything: So what should Nancy look like, anyway?

I'd Do Anything Winner, Jodie Prenger is, according to Cameron Macintosh, too "big" to play Nancy, while Dollymix reader, Alex, feels that the real reason the two black girls got the boot was that they were the wrong colour to be Dickens' Victorian prostitute.

But just what did Nancy look like anyway? Since we grew up with the musical version of Oliver, Shani Wallis is our template for Nancy, but the BBC's 2007 version gave us a mixed race Nancy who fitted right in to what was already a multicultural Victorian London.

Check out the excellent Katie's Lee's intriguing guide to Nancys through the ages over on our sister site Dollymix!

TV:am presenters reunion

How about a heartwarming story for a Friday afternoon? Reality TV regular Anne Diamond is getting back together with her old TV:am team to recreate some of the old breakfast magic. Anne Diamond and Nick Owen will be doing a stint on radio, for BBC London's breakfast show, and will be joined by Wincey Willis and "Mad" Lizzie Webb.

Willis will read the weather, while Webb will give exercise tips to listeners. BBC London 94.9FM hopes to capitalise on the current wave of nostalgia and Diamond and Owen are booked for four days - next Tuesday to next Friday - but the radio station hinted that if the show's a hit they may get an extended slot. Your correspondent advises against breath-holding.

Gordon Ramsay eats thumb dish

Alright. Put down your lunch, this is horrible. Gordon Ramsay has tasted a dish containing part of a Hell's Kitchen hopeful's thumb.

US cook Matt, 35, accidentally cut off the tip of his thumb while preparing pancetta to stuff a quail. He ran out of the kitchen, but his teammates, without realising, took over and fried it in a pan with the meat. Gordon said: "Oh God - finger pancetta," but carried on as normal, sampling the dish, and - with a nod to Johnny Depp's Willy Wonker, perhaps - saying simply: "It tastes weird."

Chanelle's pop career: Ziggy doesn't hold back

Once again, Panto would like to remind you that these opinions are reported, and are not necessarily our own. The rather sad fact is, Chanelle Hayes' debut single has sold just 2,000 copies and made it to number 63 in the charts.

Ex-boyfriend Ziggy has no qualms about mocking the girl. "It's laughable really," he said. "We all thought it would bomb and it has. You have to give her a bit of credit for giving it a go, though. I saw the video of Chanelle having sex with a gopher and it was terrible. I'm glad the whole saga with Chanelle and I is over. She thinks she's better than everyone else and is not in touch with anyone from Big Brother any more. She used to be friends with the twins, but she's even shut them off now."
What do you think? Harsh, but fair? Or just harsh?