Ant & Dec's US debut is a flop

Ant and Dec's have finally made their big stateside appearance... but their first show has pulled in just four million viewers. The pair's quiz show Wanna Bet! went out on Tuesday night in a primetime slot on ABC.
The disappointing ratings were blamed on the lads being put on after an unpopular show. Yes. That's probably it.

Dec said: "We're looking forward to growing our audience here over the series."
Ant added: "We were very pleased with the first show." The pair will stay in the US until they get kicked out of there as well.

Bobby Davro to appear on 'I'm a celebrity: get me out of here'?

The Star might not always be the most reliable source of hard news around, but it's never wrong about I'm a Celebrity rumours. Oh, wait. Yes. Yes, it is. That's what it's wrong about the most, in fact. And if we're honest, we're kind of hoping it's wrong about this one. Annoying comic-turned-Eastenders actor Bobby Davro might be in line for the next series of the jungle reality show. Reports at the weekend hinted Davro had quit the soap for a new project. He's also AVAILABLE FOR PANTO (cheer now) after being rumoured to appear in one this Christmas. Last week the comedian said: "I have had a fantastic year with EastEnders and made lots of friends. I hope to be back at some point."

Classic Reality TV: watch Kerry and Jordan in the jungle

Remember when Jordan and Kerry were kind of cute and adorable? Back when men were men and Kerry was a McFadden? When Jordan and Kerry were IN THE JUNGLE TOGETHER? I know, right? Seems like a lifetime ago. But here they are, munching on bush cockroaches, before the curse of the jungle, and Peter Andre, struck...

Kerry Katona says rehab is 'like Butlins'

Obviously the temptation to ask in what sense? is just too great. Is Paul Shane there now? Katona's last trip to rehab was in March, when she was heavily pregnant and citing "depression". Because, of course, rehab's sure to cheer up even the gloomiest celeb. In her upcoming MTV one-off called *shudder* "Kerry Katona: The After Birth" she'll discuss how she uses The Priory to "recharge". She insists: "It had nothing to do with drink or drugs. It's like a holiday camp at The Priory, it's like going to Butlins for the weekend." Butlins is cheaper, you know.

The show airs on July 27 at 9pm.

Jordan & Peter - chat show axed

"Too trashy EVEN for digital telly" - The Sun's words, my capitals. The couple hosted Katie And Peter: Unleashed last autumn on ITV2 and had a two-year contract with the channel.

But when even the guests started dissing the show, bosses pulled the plug. Pussycat Dolls singer Nicole Scherzinger said it was the most ridiculous show she'd been on, and Corrie star Jack P Shepherd called it "a bit crude". A chat show not good enough for a Corrie star, ladies and gentleman.

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Frankie Dettori rumoured for next 'I'm a Celebrity'

It's not on till November, but the rumours have already begun. Flamboyant jockey Frankie Dettori is said to be in talks with ITV about appearing in the jungle.

Dettori said: "I've been all over the world and eaten many things. I've tried snake, crocodile and camel. The weirdest thing has to be eating fox in Hong Kong." No Frankie, the weirdest thing was always you. Bless him, we love him really.

Other stars hinted to appear include Esther Rantzen and athlete Dwain Chambers.

Reality TV news: Cheeky Girls' engagement, Matt cheated on Flavia, Myleene felt fat in bikini

Heatworld insists you HAVE to see these pictures from Lembit and Gabriela's engagement party. But I checked, and it turns out you don't.

There's a reality tv story intersection to beat them all, featuring as it does Strictly's Matt di Angelo, his dancing lover Flavia, Michelle from Liberty X, and the Daily Mail using the phrase "love rat".

And hold the front page! I have some breaking news you NEED to know before proceeding with your humdrum life... Apparently Myleene Klass felt fat in THAT bikini. No, rather misleadingly - not that one, that one.

Peter Andre and Jordan had sex in a stable

The 'Insania' singer, (as 'Stv' entertainingly describes Andre) apparently once 'pounced on her' in a horse's stable. Now I don't know if you've ever been in a stable, but they do tend to be full of horse shit. He said: "The funniest place we have had sex would probably be in a stable. The horse wasn't there though, it was just me and Kate." Thought you said the horse wasn't there. Ha, ha.

Peter told More magazine: "Kate always turns me on. She only has to breathe and that's it," (blimey). "Usually, she only has to look at me and it's just, 'Oh God, I fancy her so much!' Even four or five years later I still always look at her and just go, 'Wow. Oh my God you're so hot!' And she is."

Reality news round-up: Cerys & Marc - on again? Alex Wotherspoon - next top model? Kerry Katona's mum - and Brian McFadden?

Three unlikely stories for you on a Monday morning. Let's start with Cerys and Marc. Here they are on a motorbike, riding around London. I'm caught between an 'awww' and a 'yaaaawn' especially as the Mail doesn't seem to have any more information than what was supplied by the guy with the long-lens. Daily Mail bad grammar collectors will be interested to hear that the article does include this intriguing line though: "Marc, 34, kissed Cerys on the head with his arm in between shopping at posh shop Jo Malone."

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David Gest... the musical?

Every so often, a story comes along that makes a reality show blogger do a tiny dribble of excitement on her keyboard andclogupthespacebar. David Gest and Peter Andre (or Peter Andrew, as my fingers insist on typing) are going to be performing together in a new touring musical. Beginning in Wolverhampton, the show will be on at the Civic Hall - and will be all about Gest's life. Join me in praying that Andre is playing the young Gest. The show's called David Gest...My Life!, and kicks off on October 7.

Also in the show are 'celebrity' friends, The New Stylistics, Freda Payne, Shalamar, rapper Coolio and Billy Payne. Why are you still here? Hurry! Get your tickets now before they're all snapped up!

Ofcom fine for ITV: trouble for Ant and Dec

Ah, it's our loveable I'm a Celebrity presenters, everyone's favourite cheeky chappies! Except they're not so loveable now, are they? Do we detect something... sinister about in those smiles? Especially Ant. Oh, I'm joking - turns out they had no idea what was going on. But it still seems to me that phone-ins, like the lottery, are something of a tax on the stupid. It's not just phone-in scandals, either (and there have been many, of late) - it's come to light that Ant and Dec's Saturday Night takeaway was announced winner of the People's Choice Award way back in 2005 when the people didn't choose them.

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Is Iceland right to sign Kerry again?

Iceland have renewed Kerry Katona's contract, with what's been reported as a "six-figure sum". Sounds like we'll have to watch her pretending to be a 'normal mum' and pulling things out of freezers for a while yet. I don't like watching those adverts. Not because they're bad, but because they make me feel, somehow, as though I'm complicit in a much bigger lie. It's like listening to I'm The Leader of the Gang. However, vote below!