Ofcom fine for ITV: trouble for Ant and Dec

Ah, it's our loveable I'm a Celebrity presenters, everyone's favourite cheeky chappies! Except they're not so loveable now, are they? Do we detect something... sinister about in those smiles? Especially Ant. Oh, I'm joking - turns out they had no idea what was going on. But it still seems to me that phone-ins, like the lottery, are something of a tax on the stupid. It's not just phone-in scandals, either (and there have been many, of late) - it's come to light that Ant and Dec's Saturday Night takeaway was announced winner of the People's Choice Award way back in 2005 when the people didn't choose them.

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Is Iceland right to sign Kerry again?

Iceland have renewed Kerry Katona's contract, with what's been reported as a "six-figure sum". Sounds like we'll have to watch her pretending to be a 'normal mum' and pulling things out of freezers for a while yet. I don't like watching those adverts. Not because they're bad, but because they make me feel, somehow, as though I'm complicit in a much bigger lie. It's like listening to I'm The Leader of the Gang. However, vote below!

Reality TV news: Paul Potts interview, Barrowman's back (did he ever leave?), Cowell's rich, Jodie's kinky, Jordan's a mermaid

Piers Morgan's interviewed Paul Potts, and found him to be just the same nice guy that he met a year ago. But with better teeth.

While every straight girl's other secret crush, John Barrowman, has a new series of The Kids Are All Right - the show where superbright kids and adults go head-to-head (we're suckers for this kind of thing). The programme goes out tomorrow, 6.05pm, BBC1, just before his other show, I'd Do Anything. Interview here - did you know he was born in Glasgow?!

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Jordan & Peter to release new album together

Yes, the twosome are going to release a new duets album. I don't know whether you remember their last effort? Call me an old cynic, but I just can't believe that anything that's been through the autotuner and released onto CD will be anywhere near as wonderful as this "playback removed" clip of J&P singing A Whole New World for charity, with their "actual voices" revealed...

I strongly, strongly recommend you watch this.

Kerry Katona quits MTV show

Perhaps not going to win any "most surprising news of the day" prizes, but still worth a mention.

Kerry's pulled the plug on her show, (which is called Crazy in Love, and in the publicity shots of which she wears a straight jacket) because of depression. Not that she doesn't have good reason to be depressed, of course, she found out during filming that husband Mark Croft had been unfaithful to her.

Katona is now expected to film three more episodes, leaving the series five short of the 16 she's signed up to do in a £160,000 deal. In Kerry's finale she will explain her reasons for ending the show early. But do we really care?

Coming to America - Ant & Dec!

Ant & Dec or to use their real names, PJ and Duncan have, according to reports, landed their own primetime quiz show stateside. Wanna Bet? was filmed a year ago for US channel ABC. Despite rumours swirling that their accents were creating an insurmountable barrier for American audiences, ABC have confirmed that the show will start in July, on Mondays at 9pm.

A friend of the boys told The Sun: "They're thrilled - their 9pm slot is a real coup, given that they are new in the US." Well, have fun lads. But please come back for I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! Psyche!

Reasons to love Jordan

Ah Jordan, how do we love you? Let us count the ways. We've long suspected that Katie had more sense than she's generally credited with and in a recent interview Ms Price really does keep pulling 'em out the bag. I think I'm completely converted. Hop over the jump for my top 10 Jordan quotes of the week...

Katie and Peter: The Next Chapter starts on Thursday, March 27 on ITV2 at 9pm.

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Kerry Katona's Crazy in Love - suspended!

Kerry's in rehab again - depression this time, guys, Not Drugs... OK? The show's on hold till she gets out better, but in the meantime, let's see if the signs were there. Check out the starstruck estate agent, and the beautiful moment when Kerry walks into the gym and Brian McFaddon's on the telly...

Reality news: Apprentice line-ups, Fearne's specs, Denise's mate, Kerry's clean

Sir Alan's at it again, moaning about the Beeb. This time I'd be inclined to agree with him - he wants to do a teen version of The Apprentice, as a one-off. "I believe it would be an absolute one-off blockbuster if you had a programme round about the six, seven o'clock timeslot featuring 12 to 15-year-old kids," Sugar said. The BBC are less enthusiastic. "Nobody took any notice". Ah, it's horrible being dismissed, eh Sir Alan?

But in the meantime, here's a sneak preview of the Apprentice hopefuls for this series. I wonder if the girls fought over the red dress.

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Panto Poll: What do you think of Mylene's new shape?

Seems like she is proud as punch about it, anyway. What do you reckon to these pictures of the former Hear'Say/I'm a Celebrity star? Bearing in mind she's just had a baby... like seconds before those pictures were taken. It's under the bottom of her skirt there. It is! You need to have more faith in me, if this relationship's going to work.

Jordan's new book series: Mermaids and Pirates

So after The One Where She's Clutching Her Head and All Those Ones About Ponies, Katie's literary career seems to have gone strangely charming all of a sudden. Hop over the jump and see what you think of the new venture. And notice: the little girl's called Katie and the boy's called Peter. Do their own kids think they have a mermaid and a pirate for parents? And isn't it a bit weird? Would you buy one for your kid?

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News round-up: Gareth's wedding, Chantelle's drunk and Cowell's rich - but it's all about Jordan really

Who else had forgotten or blocked out of their memory the fact that Gareth Gates had a fling with Jordan!!! So she's not invited to his wedding, it turns out. Gareth love, you can ignore it but that won't mean it never happened.

Talking of Jordan, her protege is learning well. What was Jordan's response to all this? Did she grab Chanters by her flimsy shoulders and shake her like a ragdoll, while booming "I CREATED YOU! AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?" Yes, of course. She also said "She's never going to be me."

Following on from the shock news that he has an expensive house, now it's being reported that Cowell has bought a very expensive car. He's a wealthy guy. He's going to have expensive stuff. Get over it.

Who's going to win American Idol? USA today think it's likely to be a boy. But it was probably a boy who wrote it, so we should take such "investigative journalism" in the "respected newspaper" USA Today with a pinch of salt.

There's going to be a Canadian version of How Clean is Your House! Aggie's performance on Ice obviously didn't damage the brand as much as we feared.