Well, who do you reckon? Come on, then...
I have an exciting new bullying row for you. Rachel broke down in tears last night after housemates, led by Rex, laid into her. She was ready to quit as she sobbed in the Diary Room, and The Star reports that 'legions of viewers' think it's time producers stepped in. Rachel's been branded a "fake" a "liar" and perhaps most mysteriously, a "sell-out". Rachel is many things. Not all of them good. But a sell out? I'm sure all that will come - but for now, she's still in the house. She's barely even sold in.
Everyone loves Kat, riiii? Wro. She may be the bookies' fave, but she wasn't popular with Big Brother when she broke house rules yesterday. Kat and Mo nicked some bananas during the Hanging Around task and Big Brother ordered them to pack their bags. The softies changed their mind after Kat turned on the waterworks, and they lived to see another day.
The Channel 4 site's message boards are less sympathetic, however, with fans demanding - possibly rightly - that they both get kicked out.
One post read: "Mo and Kat, bye, bye. Kick both out. Simple, don't do the crime if you can't do the time." Another comment, presumably from a high court judge, rules that they are "gilty on both counts". What do you reckon? Is BB being soft on them cos they're popular?
I know, I know, she's not up for eviction, but I feel so strongly about this that I think we should find a way to get her out anyway. Even if it means creating some kind of giant fishing rod with a tasty morsel on the end, and dangling it into the garden.
We've already had one Charley, and we've had plenty of whingers on this show, (Big Brother, honey, you're repeating yourself) - but this one takes the cake. During Day 7's 'electric shock' task, Alex alone decided she couldn't take the pain and removed her suit. Now I don't like any of them much, but this kind of acting up must be punished. I'll be spending this afternoon in Tesco's car park building a giant fishing rod. See you there?
(Watch Alex being told off (again, but it's a classic) over the jump...)
For those who missed one of the biggest fights so far on this year's BB (and it's been almost a week already, you know), this clip gives you pretty much all the information you need. Oh and stroppy Alex calls Steph 'simple'. Harsh but fair, perhaps. Alex has to go, doesn't she? Or do you like all these fights? Talk to me! Stay with me!
I wonder how long Mario will last. He's had a starring role in Big Brother 9 so far, thanks to the first night 'pretend you're actually going out with this 19 year old blonde' task. But such things can be a mixed blessing. The father of his real girlfriend, Lisa, has come out of the woodwork with some utter gems.
Geoff told the Sunday Mirror: "Mario is nothing but a sleazeball and a bully. Everything about him is fake. His real name's not even Mario. He's called Shaun for God's sake. He just wanted to sound Italian." It's not just Geoff though! His former father-in-law Norman Jackson isn't keen, either. The father of Mario's ex-wife said: "I always thought he was a complete k***head. I have nothing but contempt for him." It took a while for me to get that (kock? kick?) but I think they're going for 'knob'.
The case for: She went back to the house to get the irons, leaving her special laundry identification 'system' ripe to be messed up. This resulted in items getting lost and a £50 fine for the team.
The case against: Going back to the house was authorised by the Project Manager Jennifer, who ultimately should take the rap for it. The team would've lost even without that fine, because they'd already made so many mistakes - over-pricing and losing out on good clients... and because Jennifer wasted so much time and energy listening to the sound of her own voice.
...as you'd know, had you been following the live Twitter updates I did for you last night. (Why not subscribe? It's free!) The task this time was to start up a laundry business and run it for one day. The girls messed it up very entertainingly this week, guessing prices (£4.99 for every single individual item?!), throwing in wildly inappropriate 'extras' (24 hour hotline!) and even losing items of clothing. Didn't help that their project manager Jenny Celerier was the absolute worst, stitching up Shazia real good (here's her exit interview and here's someone who agrees with me on the BBC blog.)
Yes, all in all the lads were the real surprise stars of the night...
Now, this isn't going to be a witch-hunt: I honestly don't think that Ziggy is a bad person. But let's be honest - the guy's been a complete idiot, and has made some terrible decisions, when it comes to his relationship with Chanelle.
Let's go right back to the beginning - he chased her. I'm sure he'll deny it, but *we* remember that she was quite reluctant to take that step from flirtation to relationship. Of course, as time has gone on, the scales have tipped the other way, and Ziggy has been unable to deal with this change in dynamics. The fact is, he has become less and less enamoured with Chanelle as she has become more so with him, and while this is no-one's fault, he has taken his frustration out on her, which is just plain unfair.
So, despite the twins' annoyingly consistent voting of Carole and Tracey (Channel 4 didn't even feel the need to air Sam's noms last night), it's Gerry and Nicky up for eviction. The fact that Charley isn't nominated makes me think that this particular eviction might just be straightforward... (legal ed - in no way is Ms. Waits suggesting that the BB producers are trying to keep Charley in the house.)
So who do we want to go? Well, it's got to be Nicky, hasn't it? Gerry gets weirder and weirder by the day - and, it has to be admitted, less likeable - but Nicky has been living on borrowed time for ages. All she does is smoke and complain and bitch and stir, and it seems that even her own little group, Tracey especially, are getting tired of her. She's not enjoying the experience, and we're not enjoying watching her. Time to go.
As soon as I heard about the fake housemate, I knew exactly what was going on. The whole thing was a plan to keep the odious Charley on our screens. It's clear that Charley is being given special rules to stay in the house. Using the N word? Never mind! It's Charley! Abusing house mates? Well, Big Brother doesn't normally tolerate that sort of thing... but seeing as it's Charley... you get the idea.
One thing that I'm baulking at is how this ruse has worked perfectly for the BB producers. They clearly want Charley to stay in, and the fake eviction cements her place in the house for a number of reasons. Firstly, no-one will nominate her this week in a bid to cleanse their consciences. Secondly, if they believe her pap about the response from the crowd, they'll no doubt feel that it's futile trying to vote out such a popular person. I imagine that there will be a lot of cosying up to this pointless moron due to a collective guilt. In all honesty, I can't believe that people voted to get her out at the weekend. I would have left her in. In fact, I'd leave her in there to rot long after the show has finished. [Mof Gimmers]