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Big Brother: Maysoon quits!

may.jpgThe question on all our lips is.... will anyone notice? Model Maysoon has walked out after a day of complaining she wasn't having fun. Viewers who've already voted for her will get a full refund, although I'm not sure why - surely they're the ones who are most happy with this turn of events? Big Brother should reimburse everyone who hasn't decided who they'd like to see go this week or indeed whether they even want to vote. People like me.

So, here's the obituary bit...

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Big Brother: Love rat Luke dumped by girlfriend!

Turns out the girlfriend of flirty jug-ears Luke really does exist, in real life, and not just 'on the street in your head' as Marge Simpson would say. She kind of looks a bit like him, in a wig, and she's dumped him - on his 21st birthday. Gina Bannister, 17, ended it after seeing her boy canoodle with Bex on Big Brother... a double surprise, as she didn't even know he was going on the show...

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Big Brother fight of the week: Mario and Lisa have first big row

Seems Mario's not such a suave, gracious gentleman after all. He's been having a go at Lisa for cleaning up too much. Not because he thinks she's worth more than that, or because he's bothered about the others being dirty, lazy sods... but because he doesn't want her to be more popular than him.

And let's make this one 'quote of the week' while we're at it: "Throw a few spanners in the works, it's too nice, too happy happy... Otherwise, before we know it, I'll be gone and you'll still be here." In the words of the Bard (credit where it's due, right?): "Aye. There's the rub."

Fight of the week: Dennis 'removed' for spitting in Mohamed's face

We all know he's gone, but were they right to take him out? I mean, do we live in a world where spitting isn't allowed, but behaving in myriad other insufferable and unacceptable ways that may or may not involve saliva is fine? Have a look-see at the clip overleaf (warning: fights! It's not pretty) and tell me what you think...

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