Watch Big Brother Steph rejected from Popstars: The Rivals

Again, not so much 'where are they now' as 'where were they then' and more to the point 'what were they doing with their hair?' As one of the Youtube commenters points out, "Christ, she looks about five". Those of you who can't get enough of seeing her being rejected from reality shows, enjoy this clip of an exceptionally young and little looking Steph being kicked off Pop Stars: The Rivals for being annoying, crimped, THIRTEEN. And yet Geri Halliwell lives to see another day. There's no justice, is there?

Britain's Got Talent - watch Connie Talbot again

Personally, I think there's such a thing as enough gap-toothed six year olds singing songs from musicals, but I know you love it. So here you go, one more time, to celebrate the news that Connie will be releasing a new version of her album, this June... just don't get used to it. I'm not making a habit of this, ok?

Beauty and the Geek audition tape: Richard Rubin

An old classic for you, on a Friday afternoon. Looks like Egon Spengler, sounds like Woody Allen. Seriously, is this guy still single? And if so, why?

Part 2, 3 and 4 over the jump, if you can't get enough of Richard. Ad libbing "Probability?! What are the chances of that?" Putting one sweet in a bag at the pick 'n mix. It's all quality stuff. Have a geeky weekend!

Continue reading >>

News round-up: Gareth's wedding, Chantelle's drunk and Cowell's rich - but it's all about Jordan really

Who else had forgotten or blocked out of their memory the fact that Gareth Gates had a fling with Jordan!!! So she's not invited to his wedding, it turns out. Gareth love, you can ignore it but that won't mean it never happened.

Talking of Jordan, her protege is learning well. What was Jordan's response to all this? Did she grab Chanters by her flimsy shoulders and shake her like a ragdoll, while booming "I CREATED YOU! AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?" Yes, of course. She also said "She's never going to be me."

Following on from the shock news that he has an expensive house, now it's being reported that Cowell has bought a very expensive car. He's a wealthy guy. He's going to have expensive stuff. Get over it.

Who's going to win American Idol? USA today think it's likely to be a boy. But it was probably a boy who wrote it, so we should take such "investigative journalism" in the "respected newspaper" USA Today with a pinch of salt.

There's going to be a Canadian version of How Clean is Your House! Aggie's performance on Ice obviously didn't damage the brand as much as we feared.

Reality news in the tabloids: More money for judges, more attention for Louis, less phone selling for Paul Potts

The Strictly Come Dancing judges want more monies... I think they're a bit jealous of the X Factor judges, who get paid 10 times what they do, and also, as it happens, want more monies.

Paul Potts has decided to take the plunge and give up his phone selling job. The Sun says: "He was on extended leave as he toured the world performing to thousands, but was too scared to resign in case it had all been a DREAM". For heaven's sakes.

"They've managed to mess it up completely." Hmm? What's Louis Walsh's beef with Rock Rivals, I wonder? "There's far more drama on the X Factor in any week than there's likely to be in this whole series. I was so excited when I sat down to watch it. I expected it to be great. I had spent a whole day on set doing a cameo and they cut me." Aha. I think we have encountered what's known as "the rub".

Paul Potts on Britain's Got Talent

With news breaking of Paul Potts The Movie, I really think we need to see this again. Don't you? It's amazing, but look at Amanda Holden's face. Huh! What a cry baby. Here at Panto we are not influenced by human emotions.

Remember the UK version of Beauty and the Geek?

Aw, don't you miss it? And David Mitchell's fabulous commentary? If you haven't seen Beauty and the Geek, it's a bit like Supersize vs Superskinny, but with autism. And if you think I'm joking, you might want to look at the clip over the turn, where Ed shows you how he eats a jam sandwich...

Continue reading >>

Classic reality tv: Marias auditions

As auditions come to a close on the latest LLoyd Webber experiment, "I'd Do Anything", let us remember, together, the wonderful talents of musical theatre that auditioned for the benevolent gnome in the past. And let us be thankful they didn't get through. It's Briony people!

Classic Strictly: Natasha Kaplinsky and Brendon Cole

Whisper it quietly. In fact, don't even do that, just write it on a bit torn out of the back of your maths book and pass it to me under the table... We're kind of missing Strictly a little bit. So here's a clip from a year ago, of Brendan (in the news these days for claiming he could win at Dancing on Ice) and the lovely Natasha, in all her ageing-hairstyle finery. It wasn't that long ago, but doesn't Brucie seem a bit more lively than he does these days - and Bruno is a veritable schoolboy. Check out the way Brendan looks at Nat when he says "this is the last time Natasha and I are going to be performing together... in public". Saucy devil. Love is in the air alright. Enjoy.

Classic reality TV: Make Me A Supermodel

Speaking of America's Next Top Model, as we so often are, do you remember Make Me A Supermodel? With thin Marianne, curvy Jen, and the one they called "Rachel Munter"? It's always all about the girls - but what about the lads? Albert won the guys' competition and in retrospect he seems the obvious choice. Let's take another look, shall we, at that short-list wannabe male models. Check out the clips down the right hand side, too; there's one called "WIN A DATE WITH WAZ". With Waz?! Christ, do we have to?

Celebrity Big Brother, series 2: the housemates arrive

Was Mark Owen really on Big Brother, or was it all a wonderful dream? It's all a bit odd watching this back. Everyone looks so normal and unpolished. And there was so little effort, in those simpler days, to disguise the fact that the Big Brother house was basically just a pre-fab shed. Here's Goldie and Anne Robinson sharing a bedroom for possibly the first and last time ever, alongside Sue Perkins, Melinda Messenger, Mark Owen and Les Dennis. A fragile line-up in many ways. Ah, don't you miss it?

Comic Relief does Fame Academy

Pop will eat itself, as someone said, but I bet they didn't realise that telly would too. Here's some celebs pretending to want to be famous all in the name of charity. It's all so freakin' post modern I'm beginning to question my own existence. Or I would be, if I recognised any of them. Here, almost live, from last November, is the Comic Relief take on Fame Academy.