A lot of people ask me, "Panto," they say, because it's actually my name. "Panto, I have travelled for months to find you and I am weary and weak. Tell me: how can I be in the audience on a Big Brother show?" And my answer is always the same. "When the time is right child, look into your heart and you will know." This sometimes irks people, admittedly but if Yoda and Dungeonmaster can get away with being maddeningly cryptic, I reckon why can't I? Like them, I am an elderly fictional sage in a fantasy story. Honestly, it's one rule for them and another for everyone else.
Anyway, to get on Big Brother's Big Mouth fill in this application form then email it to email@example.com.
For Big Bro's Little Bro you need to fill in the form here and email it to mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org.
And to be in the outdoor audience at eviction time, (plus loads of other cool shows) have a look-see here. [Wait, wait! Dungeonmaster! Don't go! ....What do you suppose he meant?]