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Big Brother's baffling merchandise - the lanyard

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Nestling among the usual embarrassing cash-in staples, mugs and t shirts on the Big Brother website, I found this beauty.

Now a lanyard, unfortunately, is no longer just something people use to fire canons with. It's a thing you put around your neck, wrist or 'other' to assist with carrying things. You know, stuff you need regularly like a phone or some keys. Don't know about you, but personally I've always thought the one thing wrong with my house keys is that I'm not sporting them as a fashionable necklace. And frankly anything that can broadcast my love of Big Brother - and not just any Big Brother, but this year's show - is bound to make me look that bit more cool than my plain-lanyard wearing peers.

So how can we resist this bit of pointless merch? It's great value at just £3, decorated with the eyes of your victims, and comes with a free photoshopped shadow effect.

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