Well my friends, we have passed the half-way mark. The housemates are tired. The viewers are tired. Everyone's lost their buddies, their faith in each other, and their mojo. Will Big Brother be brave enough to over-rule viewers votes and evict everyone but Darnell? Who they then leave alone in the house, with the cameras rolling 24/7 until September? Sadly, probably not, but a girl can dream. Cast your play-vote over the page!
It makes you wonder how many smells this woman is capable of generating. Jade Goody has launched yet another 'scent', the unromantically-named "Controversial". She can't spell her own smell.
Jordan has a new bedding range (for kids? Hopefully. Look at it!) - and a couple of pipe-cleaners for legs according to that picture.
... while the band who prised £75,000 out of the clutches of the Dragon's (Den) have released a new single. 'The Girl I Love' came out week and is now available to download on iTunes.
We're not crazy about George "the" Lamb here at Panto, but we do rather like Margit, the Cheeky Girls' mum. So we hope you'll enjoy seeing how accurate (or otherwise) her 'psychic predictions' about the house were...
The question on all our lips is.... will anyone notice? Model Maysoon has walked out after a day of complaining she wasn't having fun. Viewers who've already voted for her will get a full refund, although I'm not sure why - surely they're the ones who are most happy with this turn of events? Big Brother should reimburse everyone who hasn't decided who they'd like to see go this week or indeed whether they even want to vote. People like me.
So, here's the obituary bit...
Does this man's self-belief know no limits? Ordinary Boys frontman and Chantelle divorcee Preston has stepped out in what appears to be a gentleman's bathing suit from the late 1800s. Alas, on this picture we can't see how far the costume extends, but I'm assuming it's a full 'one piece' with skin-tight legs.
Statistically, it was only a matter of time before one of the housemates in one of the world's Big Brother houses murdered someone under the bedclothes. Or burst into the bedroom wearing a giant Iron Man costume they'd been working on in the shower, guns blazing. Or, in this case, went a bit mad. Not since Michael Barrymore's Detective Monk-style obsessive bed-straightening have we seen such fascinatingly weird behaviour on Big Brother. Still, let's keep this in perspective. He's eaten a whole tube of toothpaste and verbally lashed out at fellow housemates. Hardly One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest stuff is it? But what do you think? Really mental? Or just MAD keen to be voted out soon?
The Observer had a whole reality tv special in its magazine at the weekend. While we might not want to think about George Galloway's body and soul too much since that robot-dancing clip, the top ten reality telly earners and guide to surviving Big Brother make entertaining reading.
American Idol's in trouble for too much product placement... don't look up the product though - THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO DO!
- and just when you thought they'd solved a problem like her, they have the Marias show in Canada too, it turns out...
Ah, it's always good to hear Big Brother opinions from someone who's clearly never watched the show, but Keith Lemon claims to have been revising for when he has to present "Big Brother's Mouth". Anyway, this clip is pretty funny. "For someone carrying so much timber, she's very 'appy about the fact she's carrying timber" "That Luke - he doesn't know the different between a tuppence and a tallywacker". You get the picture.
I have an exciting new bullying row for you. Rachel broke down in tears last night after housemates, led by Rex, laid into her. She was ready to quit as she sobbed in the Diary Room, and The Star reports that 'legions of viewers' think it's time producers stepped in. Rachel's been branded a "fake" a "liar" and perhaps most mysteriously, a "sell-out". Rachel is many things. Not all of them good. But a sell out? I'm sure all that will come - but for now, she's still in the house. She's barely even sold in.
What do you make of this? Psychic to the stars Sally Morgan fondles a pair of long johns and decides that the person in question has a problem with body odour, looks at a giant expensive watch and says 'oh this person is a wannabe' and plays with a wacky rag doll until a voice from the beyond reveals it's owned by someone a bit zany.
Truly, it'll send shivers down your spine.
Big Brother played the Hell housemates' audition clips to the Heaven team last night, and shocked them all with her, um, outrageous antics. For some reason the lads all took a shine to her. Mo said: "I like that Rachel." Mikey called her "a real sexpot", and Rex noted that "She was shaking her hair, pushed her boobs up then turned around and got her bum out."
All of which makes you wonder if they were watching the same video really. Clip over the turn, if you can bear it...