Big Brother: Rachel's audition tape shocks Angels

Big Brother played the Hell housemates' audition clips to the Heaven team last night, and shocked them all with her, um, outrageous antics. For some reason the lads all took a shine to her. Mo said: "I like that Rachel." Mikey called her "a real sexpot", and Rex noted that "She was shaking her hair, pushed her boobs up then turned around and got her bum out."

All of which makes you wonder if they were watching the same video really. Clip over the turn, if you can bear it...

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Classic Big Brother: Watch Nikki's audition video

"I think I'm just special. Special". We can't argue with that. Check out this oddly cute video of BB7's Nikki in a funny hat, long before she had any kind of fame. She's actually something of a natural on camera. I don't mean to sound surprised.

Britain's Got Talent semi finals - Andrew Johnston and Cheeky Monkeys get through

13 year old so-called 'council estate choirboy', who may or may not live in a housing association property, made it through to the final of Britain's Got Talent last night. Andrew Johnston (no relation), who controversially claimed to be bullied at school for his love of opera, got Amanda Holden's botoxed brow almost furrowed with emotion with his version of Eric Clapton's 'Tears In Heaven'.

And it looks like we could well be seeing a child winner for this year's show. 8 year olds Charlie Dixon and Krista Hyatt also got through for their performance as dancing duo The Cheeky Monkeys. I think we need to see them, don't we? Come on then...

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Big Brother auditions

8 days to go before we see who made it through. In the meantime, watch this clip of auditionees being interviewed by Charley Uchea and Nikki Grahame, then send off for those emigration papers. Seriously: it's only a couple of minutes long but trust me, by the end you will not want to be British anymore.

Britain's Got Talent: Mimi the dancing sheep

Well, we've brought you the best of Britain's Got Talent, I think it's time we saw some frowns and fist-thumping [HONK] buzzers. How good was this ever going to be? Can you even teach a sheep to dance? Is she trying to pull the wool - er, spin us a yarn - um...?

Britain's Got Talent: Faryl Smith

Here's Faryl, possibly the most surprising 12 year old on television. Rumour has it that Simon's already signed her up with a singing coach. Faryl said: "After my audition the producers rang and said Simon said it would be great if I could get even better. I've been to her twice. She's really nice."

Panto Poll: Which is the best Cowell show?

With Britain's Got Talent returning this weekend in all its dog-dancing glory, our thoughts return to Simon Cowell's varied and prolific career. So tell me, which show do you like best of all?