Reality TV links: George Galloway's soul, American Idol in trouble, Canadian Marias

The Observer had a whole reality tv special in its magazine at the weekend. While we might not want to think about George Galloway's body and soul too much since that robot-dancing clip, the top ten reality telly earners and guide to surviving Big Brother make entertaining reading.

American Idol's in trouble for too much product placement... don't look up the product though - THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO DO!

- and just when you thought they'd solved a problem like her, they have the Marias show in Canada too, it turns out...

Simon Cowell voted top Reality TV villain

It's hard to believe, but in America, Simon Cowell is still genuinely considered to be a baddie. The accent helps, I should think. According to a poll released yesterday, he is America's favourite reality show villain, while fellow American Idol judge Paul Abdul was declared the worst judge in reality tv. Possibly enough to tip her over the edge. "American Idol" itself was voted best reality show on US television, and also bagged the top spot for "hottest hook-up" - with 44 percent of the vote going soppy for "Idol" winner David Cook and former contestant Kimberly Caldwell, who were pictured out on a date together.

America's Got Talent: watch 'Busty Heart'

Ah, it's great to see Sharon again, isn't it? The act, on the other hand, is not so good to see. But you have to watch this. It's the train of thought that led to this act that's the really interesting thing. At some point this woman realised she had unusually weighty breasts and this is the exact thing that crossed her mind: "Brilliant! Now I can finally make my millions by SMASHING STUFF UP WITH MY BOOBS".

Remember Nigel Lythgoe?

The Independent does. He's on their new list of UK stars who've cracked the states. Also featured are reality show regulars Cat Deeley, Simon Cowell, Gordon Ramsay and Conrad Green who's worked on Big Brother and Dancing With The Stars. (Reality shows are big exports.) Nigel Lythgoe was 'nasty Nigel' in Popstars, helped to launch American Idol, and now works on So You Think You Can Dance. Have a look at the clip below and see if it doesn't trigger a few mem'ries...

Bit like the lovechild of Simon Cowell and Michael Crawford?

American Idol: watch the results

Well, we all know who won by now (David Cook) - but did we actually see it being announced? And even if we did, would it hurt to watch it again? It would not. Click the big friendly arrow, now.

(PS: why are they all dressed as Simon Cowell?)
(PPS: imagine winning by 12 million votes!)

American Idol: David Cook wins!

Here's what all the fuss is about, for those of you who haven't been following it but who've still, unaccountably, decided to Google "American Idol finale". Now, I loved Archuleta as much as the next soccer mom, but this David Cook lad - he's really quite good. Keeps his cool, too, even when the camera insists on dive bombing him.

American Idol: Jason Castro's elimination

Oh dear, Jason. He forgot the words, Simon told him "pack your bags". Not good is it? Yes, the girls love him, and I'm sure he has a beautiful soul and maybe even an alright voice when he hasn't been toking on a doobie all day. But really ladies: look at him. Just... look at him. Imagine your daughter brought that home.

American Idol: Paula Abdul acts weird

...and not just Sharon Osbourne weird - proper "if you were my friend I'd call a doctor" weird. She denies she was drunk, but if she's not, then maybe something else is going on? Well, see for yourself...

American Idol - Simon gets a call from his first kiss

The poor, poor man. Imagine if your first crush pulled this stunt on you when you were at work. Still, I think the anticipation is the hard part - the very worried "what the hell is this going to be?" look on his face at the beginning. He seems to be quite relieved when he finds out who it actually is.

Reality TV news round-up: Chantelle's dress? American Idol's mess? X Factor for the US?

Over the pond, Brooke White's gone. David Archuleta, David Cook, Jason Castro and Syesha Mercado battle it out for the American Idol crown.

Speaking of America, US hacks ask "are we ready for The X Factor? As American Idol viewing figures continue to plunge, could importing the more successful Cowell show be the answer?

It's been a bad week for Darius "Pop Idol" Danesh, as Trevor Nunn's Gone With The Wind opens in the West End to a critical battering. I had high hopes for this and I honestly can't bear to repeat what they've been saying about it (but that link will give you all you need.)

And we'll all have an excuse to do our mogwai voice again in a few weeks ("Bright light! Bright light!" come on, it can't just be me) - as Dragon's Den star Peter Jones is going to be starring in an advert, surrounded by Gremlins.

Oh and Chantelle, do you know what time it is? That's right, it's time for a new look.

Lloyd Webber on American Idol

So that's why he was in the US at the weekend, and had to beam his little face into I'd Do Anything from a video screen! All the songs this week were from the Lord's shows - watch the great man himself coaching Carly Smithson, and her delivering what I believe is known as a 'belter of a tune'.

Reality TV news: Paul Potts interview, Barrowman's back (did he ever leave?), Cowell's rich, Jodie's kinky, Jordan's a mermaid

Piers Morgan's interviewed Paul Potts, and found him to be just the same nice guy that he met a year ago. But with better teeth.

While every straight girl's other secret crush, John Barrowman, has a new series of The Kids Are All Right - the show where superbright kids and adults go head-to-head (we're suckers for this kind of thing). The programme goes out tomorrow, 6.05pm, BBC1, just before his other show, I'd Do Anything. Interview here - did you know he was born in Glasgow?!

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