Why won't they ever get it? The only Osbourne we care about is Sharon! Ozzy? Keep him! Kelly? No thanks. Jack? WHO??! But here it is. The foursome will host the show (no title yet. Already had "The Osbournes") which will feature a mixture of music and comedy sketches, with the family doing acting, I guess. There's even a rumour it'll include a segment called "The Osbournes Meet the Osbournes", in which the hosts will spend time with another family named Osbourne. (Wait, did they nick that from Alan Partridge?)

It'll be a six-parter, and kick off this Christmas. Mike Darnell, Fox Network's President of Alternative Programming, says, "We've been talking about how to renew the variety show concept and make it feel new for years now." Hey, keep talking.

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