Jade has been wandering the wilderness of television for 40 days and 40 nights thinking about what she did wrong, but you'll be thrilled to hear she has finally returned to us - with newfound wisdom and a resplendent beard. She's got her own show on Living TV, and it's called "Living with Jade Goody".

An insider supposedly said: "There is a definite thirst for Jade among TV audiences. This show will give her fans a hilarious insight into Jade's life. She's paid her dues as far as the BB thing is concerned so we're glad to have her back." Ah yes! "The BB thing". So euphemistic, it's almost beautiful.

Meanwhile Kerry has been signed up for another MTV show. It's called (god help us) "Kerry Katona: The Afterbirth" and is being called "a follow-up" to Kerry Katona: Crazy in Love. So if you didn't see the first series, you might not understand what's going on.

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