I wonder how long Mario will last. He's had a starring role in Big Brother 9 so far, thanks to the first night 'pretend you're actually going out with this 19 year old blonde' task. But such things can be a mixed blessing. The father of his real girlfriend, Lisa, has come out of the woodwork with some utter gems.

Geoff told the Sunday Mirror: "Mario is nothing but a sleazeball and a bully. Everything about him is fake. His real name's not even Mario. He's called Shaun for God's sake. He just wanted to sound Italian." It's not just Geoff though! His former father-in-law Norman Jackson isn't keen, either. The father of Mario's ex-wife said: "I always thought he was a complete k***head. I have nothing but contempt for him." It took a while for me to get that (kock? kick?) but I think they're going for 'knob'.

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