See this is the problem with what Big Brother has become. When it was born, the show and its presenters had a fresh, bright-eyed, post-90s optimism about it. Davina was kind of funny and brash and ladette-y, a far cry from the embarrassing mum she's become.

The housemates were earnest, relatively low-key, and a bit uncomfortable around the cameras. And that's what made it such guiltily riveting viewing. They didn't know what to expect when they left the house, so they tried pretty hard to play by the rules and sometimes it felt like watching people in prison. Well, now the show is 8 years old, and like so many 8 year olds these days, Big Brother is having an early puberty. By which I mean, it's self-aware, it's tentatively sexual, and let's face it, it's starting to smell a bit.

With everyone on the show so hugely aware of the cameras and their inevitable post-house tabloid career, it's in everyone's interest to keep the soap opera going and keep themselves at the centre of it. This isn't new, but the pure DEGREE of self-conscious pastiche embodied by the current cast really is.

Darnell hit the nail on the head when he said that Sylvia wants to be surrounded by "storylines", all centred on her. "She doesn't care if it's a good camera shot or a hate camera shot." And that may be her downfall. But while Sylvia is guilty of it, she's not the only one...

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