Ah, it's our loveable I'm a Celebrity presenters, everyone's favourite cheeky chappies! Except they're not so loveable now, are they? Do we detect something... sinister about in those smiles? Especially Ant. Oh, I'm joking - turns out they had no idea what was going on. But it still seems to me that phone-ins, like the lottery, are something of a tax on the stupid. It's not just phone-in scandals, either (and there have been many, of late) - it's come to light that Ant and Dec's Saturday Night takeaway was announced winner of the People's Choice Award way back in 2005 when the people didn't choose them.

Well, I mean, some people did. Just a few million less people than the prize's name implies. The prize should have gone to Catherine Tate. Can you believe it? Well, yeah. Robbie Williams appeared on the promise that he could give an award to his mates Ant & Dec. The trouble is they didn't actually win anything. Oh well, better to just make up a massive lie to keep Robbie Williams happy. Take the phones off the hook, forget about what the audience wants, and let's have a big matey love-in, right ITV? Watch out - Ofcom will get you eventually though. To the tune of £5m, and - worse - loads of those humiliating compulsary apologies like the one poor old "Saint Konnie" had to read out on Blue Peter.

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