Australia and Britain are at war!!!!!!!!! And it's all Gordon Ramsay's fault! Honestly, if I wasn't eating a banana right now, I'd have to check the calendar because it's exactly like the 1940s all over again. [Leila: are you ill? - ed].

Australia's Parliament is actually holding an inquiry into swearing on TV because of the amount of effing and blinding that comes out of Gordon Ramsay's mouth on Kitchen Nightmares and Hell's Kitchen. But not so long ago, Britain was banning Australian imports - we took offense, didn't we, at their godforsaken "Where the bloody 'ell are you?" campaign. I'm not sure why, but I guess because it was indecently annoying. Maybe Ramsay will be censored by the Aussies, but who cares? It's our go now. Watch your backs, Australia... that's not a knife, etc.

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