...and weep. Oh the performance was fine. Fine! Not bad. Maybe not brilliant, but certainly not dreadful. But old Wogan's right; it doesn't matter what we do, it'll never be good enough to persuade the rest of Europe to let us join in and play with the other boys and girls. And think of poor Andy. Rejected from the X Factor is one thing... being publicly disdained by the whole of Europe quite another. Plus they obviously tried to save money by making him wear the Scooch costume from last year.

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