There was one notable Joseph missing on Saturday's Nancy & Joseph dance, wasn't there? That's right, what's-his-name, the ugly one who's going out with Denise. According to the Daily Star, Sky TV keep offering the couple a "name your price" deal to star in their own fly-on-the-wall reality show.

She says: "Can you imagine how boring that would be?...Plus, he's at the theatre six days a week - so what do they think will happen?"

Oh I don't know Denise, maybe they were hoping to catch you and the Barrowman in bed together. Wouldn't be the first time, either, would it? Oh, don't try to deny it. I've seen the way you look at him. Something about showing you his Torchwood.

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