Who says the broadsheet media is dumbing down? Here's the original reality tv twins, still going strong in the Telegraph. It's quite entertaining: "But why is she going out with him? Hasn't she noticed that he's Lembit Opik?" and, "He is known for talking about steroids hitting the Earth. We don't sit every day and talk about steroids." Not sure what all those vampire comparisons are about, though. The only thing these two ever remind me of is Marguerita Pracatan, from the Clive James show. I'm going to show you a clip now. Hush, don't be afraid.

Definitely a dose of Janice from Friends in there too, eh?

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