The BBC won't let people embed their vids, but go and watch this clip of Sharon Osbourne on the Graham Norton Show, if you've got a minute. It is quite, quite wonderful. You might want to cry for Dannii but at the same time it's hard not to be impressed by Mrs O's mad, liberated manner. And I don't think she's even drunk here. Even Graham, Mr "Dannii looks like a spoon with hair stuck on", has claimed to be shocked in The Sun: "I called Sharon up afterwards and said, 'Are you alright?' Believe it or not, we actually had to edit quite a bit out!"

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