Lots of Leona stories about at the moment, many of them presumably motivated entirely by jealousy. She's got tonsillitis, she's got loads of money, Cowell's buying her a giant house, she's lonely... But let's get real, folks - how happy can that ugly cow really be? Oh give me a break, it's called a joke.

Keith Lemon takes on Mrs Osbourne in yet another spoof of the X Factor. Keith Lemon's Very Brilliant World Tour is on tomorrow, 10pm, ITV2.

Despite receiving Death Threats, Apprentice reject Nicolas de Lacy Brown is not to be deterred. "My ego is bigger than ever," he actually said. Might want to dial it back a bit bit mate...

and Priscilla Presley's former plastic surgeon was a bit dodgy. The doctor, nicknamed "Dr. Jiffy Lube", treated her in 2003 and has since been caught and charged. I know, warning bells should have been ringing, right?

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