And friends, she doesn't make it sound good. The Big Brother 8 star's pop career will kick off with a song called I want it, that's as sexy as it is 'feministic' (Chan's words) and has, inevitably, a 'funky house' feel to it. She's also got herself another series of Wannabe on VH1 - but this time round (I'm stabbing myself in the face as I type this) the quest for pop stardom will focus on her. Show sources remain ludicrously optimistic. "She's the same size as Kylie Minogue and has got some moves on the dance floor - she'll be a perfect pop star." She also her draws her face on with a protractor, does that help?

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