I've always thought, and back me up on this, that Paula Abdul might be not quite of this world. I don't know about you, but personally I like to imagine she's from a far-off land where people have extraordinary hair, exaggerated features, and indulge in a series of guilt-free incestuous liaisons with their hermaphrodite space-angel siblings. Not that she definitely is doing any of those things. All I can do is show you the evidence and let you make up your own minds.

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