How many autobiographies per celebrity is too many? Perhaps there's an algorithm for it. Something like 100 - (AN) where A stands for age and N is the number of autobiographies multiplied by the total advance in pounds minus the total cost of pink foil used on the hardback covers.

And on the whole, one is one too many. Jordan is a good example. If someone's defining characteristic is that they'll do anything for money, then it's a fair bet their life story isn't going to be the most heartfelt leave-no-detail-out, rollicking rollercoaster ride of genuine emotional insights. And part of you is saying "Fair play, good for her". And another part of you is saying "She is devaluing the ancient institution of the written word" whilst trying not to dwell on the fact you blog about reality tv for a living.

In fact, Jordan must've left a few bits out, as she's now on her THIRD life story and it's called "Pushed To The Limit". What's she so scared of? Does she have a weird OCD thing like closing the door three times before she leaves the house, but on a much bigger scale? Does her ghost writer have her in a headlock - a 5 book contract or they'll leak everything about her dark past as, er, a glamour model, to the News of the World? Does she know something we don't? Is she nearing the end of her life? Still, she's had a good innings.

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