Gentle Simon has some advice for his imaginary adopted daughter, Britney. He reckons he knew she was heading for a fall ages ago, "You could see this coming a long time ago. I said six months ago that she should go home." If you're reading, Britters, here's the mogul's message to you:

"Stay with your mum, don't go out with your stupid friends, just live normally". He added, "I do feel sorry for Britney. Someone should have said to her, 'Right, enough. You're not going to cope.'" So stay away from your stupid friends, ok?! Your stupid, stupid friends!

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