Funny how the unlikeliest stories always seem to coincide with ratings wars. Unlikely news today includes rumours of Michael Jackson appearing on The X Factor; the finalists' mansion being kitted out with things to keep their minds off hanky-panky; Sharon Osbourne's imminent meltdown and such a catalogue of injuries befalling the celebrity contestants on Strictly that you start to get a bit suspicious - how long till the X Factor producers are caught cutting Kelly Brook's brake cables?

More credible are the rumours that Kerry Katona is over coke; and the Mirror's revelation that someone who used to be on Corrie turned down I'm a Celebrity because she can make more doing panto.

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