Poor old Britney. I bet she's devastated at the news that some TV personalities from the UK who she's never heard of thought she was a bit rubbish. Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh were appalled by the fading popstrel's comeback appearance on the MTV awards this week, and agreed that she wouldn't have a hope on the X Factor.

Maybe. But isn't it a bit odd that the X Factor judges are speaking out about some US music awards at all? What next, Danni gives her thoughts on the Brooklyn Hip Hop Festival? Simon tries on trousers backstage at New York fashion week? And the fact remains, everyone's favourite bald mime artist is still a million times more famous and successful than anyone who's ever won their show. Go on, name one winner, I dare you. Come on. Hit me, baby. Huh? What's that you say? Shayne Ward? Alright, name one of his songs then! Ha! You see? Britney is best. I bet you can name one of her songs, at least.

Cowell spoke in The Sun: “If I had been looking after Britney I’d have taken one look at her in rehearsals and I wouldn’t have allowed her on stage. The song wasn’t right, the image wasn’t right and she just wasn’t rehearsed...at the X Factor auditions I wouldn’t have put her through to the next round. The problem she has now is that she could have killed her career. It’s difficult to come back from that performance, for a while at least.”

Fellow X Factor judge, Louis Walsh agreed: “Britney wouldn’t make it through one audition of X Factor because she can’t sing live.” Well, you're ugly, and she can learn!

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