Being a huge fan of ‘La Ramsey’, I was suspicious of newcomer (albeit legendary chef) Marco Pierre White on this year’s Hell’s Kitchen. But what a series it has ended up being – pop strops, WAG idiocy and, unfortunately, bigoted rants. If you missed even a night, you missed out. Here’s the Top 5 most priceless moments…

5. Angus Deayton actually getting some attention for once. With all the ladies (even Carole Thatcher – shudder) fawning over Marco Pierre White, host Deayton was coming in a poor second. Until, that is, Radio 1’s Jo Whiley came to his rescue. As Angus welcomed viewers back from a break, Whiley shot up and smooched his cheek. Shame it was all for a bet.

4. The food critics, visiting the kitchen and not exactly mincing their words for pudding chef Brian Dowling. Fay Maschler scored him 4/10 for his Eton Mess – a harsh judgement until you realise that was the most generous score of the night. Giles Coren’s comments topped that – he branded Brian’s Crème Brulee: “Like an ashtray; I can’t think how it could have been worse”.

3. Lee Ryan’s hilariously high opinion of himself. There were some beautiful diva moments, the highlight being his uber-strop with Marco Pierre White followed by his walk out. He tore a strip off Marco, one of Britain’s most respected chefs, labelling him an ‘arrogant bully’ - just because MPW dared to describe the food as ‘pikey'. Brilliant.

2. The Jim Davidson Bigotry & Homophobia Circus. It was one of the big stories this year and despite its utter lack of entertainment value it should get a high entry for its sheer grip on the country. He called Brian Dowling a shirt-lifter amongst many other hideously outdated things and when challenged, said there was no place in 2007 for ‘normal’ people like him to air his views. If you can bear to watch him hammering what is hopefully the final nail into the coffin of his career, YouTube has it here.

1. Unlikely as you are to ever see me campaigning for the return of John McCririck to reality TV, the number one moment has to go to him and his poor, long suffering wife ‘Booby’. After strolling in with his own picnic hamper (for the second year running) and declaring the foie gras and truffle oil consommé starter ‘greasy’, MPW demanded that Maitre D’ Nick remove him from the restaurant. Cue everyone breathing a visible sigh of relief - except ‘Booby’, who had to go home with the old trout.

If that still hasn’t sated your appetite for HK and MPW, there’s still plenty of stuff to busy yourself with at the official site.

-->

Came straight to this page? Visit www.availableforpanto.com for all the latest news.