So what if her eyes pointed in different directions, and she was so thin at times that I worried she might snap under the weight of her own hair? Basically, Bonnie Langford was a fox. Hush now! I won't hear a word against her.

Someone wise once said "Kylie's a delicious slice, but Danni's the whole cheesecake". I don't remember it brilliantly, but I don't think they added "because she looks tempting, but afterwards you'll feel sick and full of self-loathing". If I put a sepia filter over Danni's head, I reckon they'd look like sisters.

Here we are then, no nastiness, just two lovely, similar-looking ladies for a Wednesday afternoon. Aah.

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