Well my good-griefy-giddy-aunt, it’s the final week already! As BB8 draws to a frenzied close, I’ve had to extend my top three of quotage to a top five again because the calibre of priceless mouth-gumph is so hilariously high. Stay tuned for a special Quote Of The Series feature in the next couple of days, but for now, here’s which inmates have made my final week Top 5.

5. Sam and Amanda emerging slightly bemused from the diary room with Big Brother’s most dubious and genius prize yet – a white t-shirt bearing a picture of Eastenders’ Pat Butcher: “I’ve won a Pat on the back!”

4. Brian and Liam’s booze obsession. Firstly, a slightly manic Brian justifying himself to a disapproving Carole after she spotted his breakfast was a can of lager: “What? Good way to start the day! Start as you mean to go on! This place drives me to it…” Then a genius exchange while planning their ‘Saturday Night Out Task’. Brian: “We’re blatently gonna have the best task, get shit-faced and do obstacles.” Liam: “Yeah. How do you spell booze?” Brian: “B-o-double o-z-e.”

3. Sam, lost in the mysteries of weight gain: “I put my white shorts on and they’re tighter, I just don’t understand it.” Followed, a fraction of a second later, by: “I’m going to get some cereal.” There’s your answer Sherlock.

2. Ziggy confounding the briefly-returning Chanelle with this corker: “You know what I’m thinking? (Pause as Chanelle looked on expectantly.) I’ve just eaten smoky bacon crisps”. Well Ziggy, whatever she was expecting, I seriously doubt it was that you were going to say that.

1. And finally, the sheer uncomfortable beauty that was Liam watching himself trying to impress Amy under the covers with his dubious ‘wings of steel’ impression: “I cannot believe that! No! No! No! How embarrassing – I am never getting hold of another lass in my life.” Oh I don’t know Liam… some ladies love a bit of Batfink in the bedroom.

Agree? Disagree? Tell me in the comments!

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