Is it just me, or does the latest crop of halfway halfbakes leave you cold? Being completely honest, the type of person who goes into the Big Brother house wouldn't warrant a pint bought or even a mere nod of recognition from me in the real world. However, on screen, the same old same old happens. I don't really care initially, then, after virtually living with them for a couple of months, I become interested in their behaviour and mannerisms. The viewer and the housemates go on some kind of pathetic journey together until we decide which one we like best and give them £100,000 for doing bugger all.

However, the new crew - David, Kara-Louise, Jonty, Shanessa and Amy - have completely failed to capture my imagination. It's probably through no fault of their own (although I fear Kara-Louise is the dullest dolt to grace my screen since BB winner Cameron), they've simply entered the race far too late.

I imagine Jonty, if he'd entered the house in week 1, would have provided some decent telly. In fact, I go so far as to say that the Big Brother producers made a mistake in putting Leslie in ahead of him. Kara-Louise is so boring that I find that I'm forgetting what she looks like even when I'm staring at her face. Amy is just your archetypal BBBF (Bit of Big Brother Fluff) who is shameless in her need to be loved and looked at. Fortunately for Amy, Shanessa is also in the house. Shanessa, which I think sounds like Latin for shameless (in fact, it comes from the Hebrew for Gracious gift of God which is hilariously ironic).

Shanessa has the dubious honour of being the new Kinga. Where Kinga stuck a bottle of wine up her well trodden garden, Shanessa provided us with the most vomit inducing lap dance since Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls. She has all the grace of a giraffe in stilettos trying to balance on four golf balls.

That leaves us with David. David is obviously withholding a brain in that round pate of his. However, he's seemingly tossed it to one side to be mean to Brian (who the entire world loves/pities), apply dodgy slap on one eye (applying it to two eyes is a bit difficult y'see?) and tell the world that he knows how Big Brother works. Aye. Act like a fool and get promptly voted out kilt, balls and all.

It is quite telling that the Big Brother producers have wangled it so that more of them are up for eviction this week. Have they realised that they've a terrible error? Amy looks like she's going to stay in... presumably to kick up some kind of stink. She's more likely to have a crack at riding Ziggy which, in my opinion, won't make for great TV.

All in all, I'd like to get shot of them all... save Jonty maybe, who still seems to have something to offer in terms of someone going on a personal journey. Get the house back to the way it was and let's see them all letting their hair down and having a laugh... and for those sick-wrongs of you out there who like to see fighting, we can always count on Carole to breakdown over some sullied towels or something... [Mof Gimmers]

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