Well, it's just The Sun really... but I thought you might want to know what they've been writing about over the last couple of days.

Yesterday we learnt about a dramatic feud in Carole's family - over a dead snail. (Family members believe that Carole's foster-daughter June has neglected Carole's snail and let it die...) Oh they got a fair few puns out of that, I can tell you. "Now there’s s-hell to pay!" Today there's a story about Jonty's uni days. Apparently, he was caught picking the locks of bedrooms - of "both girls AND boys" they point out, helpfully - and his defence was that he's a self-taught locksmith! Brilliant. And a little disturbing.

Finally, there's the obligatory Charley/Chanelle feud story - except this is of Charley/Chanelle doing utterly different things in different countries type of story. Chanelle's taken part in a photo shoot in Spain and Charley's been out on the town with "a mystery fella".

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