Is it that time already? You betcha. Welcome to the latest installment of our popular series, Get Them Out!

Which poor specimen has been painted with the Available for Panto bound-for-eviction brush this week?

Before I begin, let me tell you who hasn't. The twins, for starters. I love them. In a house where people do nothing but fight, they manage to flit about like two dainty fairies, unconcerned with the evil bitches around them.

Jonathan would also have been safe, but seeing as he's buggered right off it's all pretty irrelevant now. And Nicky will forever be safe in my eyes. I do love her so.

It can be no-one other than the towel-queen herself.

Carole.

If the sight of her wobbling about in her swimming costume isn't enough to make you switch off and vow never ever to allow Channel 4 into your homes ever again, you'll know that Carole is the self-elected mother of this year's Big Brother house. I say self-elected with some confidence, as at no point has anyone asked her to take control, the silly bat.

Her role of mother seems to include stashing food down the side of her bed, monitoring the amount of bread people are eating and, here's the best one, having her own very special towel.

You all thought Charley caused the most arguments in the house. No no. It's the towel -- the cause of all high drama in the house. Watch in horror as Carole realises that someone is sitting on it, or using it, or maybe even just looking at it with desire. She'll be off, like Gollum after The Ring, or Gazza after a pint, or Pete after a joint, or Feltz after a cake...

I'll stop there.

Get her out. Or, more to the point, get the towel out. She'll soon follow.

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