Nope, that's not a typo, Charley and Emily are the Alpha *Males* of the group, according to the new Sunday night show, Big Brother On The Couch. Alpha Females, apparently, are nurturing hippies (the psychologists words, not mine!) but in this nearly-all-female environment, the dominant personalities are beating their chests, and getting the loud-mouths (Shabnam!) to do their dirty work, just like Alpha Males in an ape colony.

Nonsense, you might say (and probably with some reason), but it has to be admitted that Charley and Emily are certainly asserting their influence on the house, more than a lot of other people, and they're constantly coming to blows because of their ostensibly different personalities and aims.

In fact, I reckon they both just want to be top dog of their respective 'scenes' - Charley wants to be the Party Queen, and Emily wants to be the Rock n' Roll Queen - it just happens that the ethos of those scenes are *very* different. Plus, there's the problem that neither of them seem able to back down in an argument...

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