Right, so tonight's the night we're supposed to be getting us not only some eviction action but also some more blokes. Hetero blokes. Blokey blokes. Big Brother's Little Brother has just revealed that one of these so-called blokes is a 19 year-old I.T worker who lives with his Mum and believes in cosmic ordering. He is already my favourite (opinion subject to change).

I suppose it's too much to hope that the housemates will probe him with questions asking how someone working in such a technically exact field can believe in such wishy-washy hoo-ha (sorry Noel, but if asking the cosmos for what you want actually worked I'd be knee-deep in free hookers right now).

Anyway, it's shaping up to an evening of intrigue and delight (and probably bickering). Stay with me, won't you? We'll make an evening of it!

Check back here at 8.30 for GO TIME.

And we're off...

8:30 - "Shaba's Rank" says a sign in the crowd. "Get Charley Out" shouts the mob. Panto indeed.

8:31 - "Highlights" from the last 24 hours. Bicker no.1 begins. Carole v. Shabs. Shabnam nails her eviction coffin shut by nicking bogroll from Mama Carole and then denying it.

8:33 - The bicker continues. Carole walks away. Good on her. Are her breasts resting on her waist as she sits down at the table there?

8:35 - "You do overspeak on people." Charley! Charley said that to Shabnam! Where's my booze. I'm going to need booze.

8:36 - Shabnam eats with her mouth open. Yeuch.

8:37 - Tracey in the diary room. She talks in a weird mixture of footballer / e-head cliches. She'll be sick as a parrot if she leaves tonight, but bang on buzzin' if she stays, I imagine.

8:42 - Ads. Can't decide if Brothers & Sisters looks good or not.

8:43 - Shabnam is applying makeup to her cleavage as she awaits the results of the vote.

8:45 - Back to yesterday's highlights. Charley has had a 'nana nicked by Shabnam. Hmm, wonder how she'll react.

8:46 - Charley goes batshit. Shabnam goes batshit back.

8:47 - Haha, the others are trying to drown out the bicker by singing! Good luck.

8:48 - "You got issues darlin'!" says Charley. She would know. This scene is utterly surreal - 2 women going mentaloid over bananas as the blokes sing and dance around them.

8:49 - "You're a feef!" "You're a bully!"

8:50 - "You're like a big moff, flattin' arahnd behind me!" This is Charley describing Shabs to Big Brother in the diary room.

8:52 - Ah, Chanelle. She has her weaknesses but feels like a breath of fresh air in the diary room. "She is poisonous," she says of Charley.

8:52 - Um... Why is Carole walking around with mud on her face?

8:54 - OK, Charley and Shabs are friends again. For how long, I wonder. Big Brother has given the housemates a surprise dinner. There is chocolate and pizza on the table. Wow, they're actually allowed to eat it! I thought some heinous trick was going to sprung on them there.

8:55 - Ah, everyone's screeching like monkeys. And dancing the charleston. And other wackiness.

8:56 - Shabnam is performing Smooth Criminal. "Annie are you walking", she sings, utterly incorrectly. Now she's doing Whitney: "They can't take away my dignity..." Nope, you did that for yourself weeks ago, sweetheart.

9:02 - New bloke. Billy, 25. Model. Hair like Emo Phillips. Likes wrestling. Likes blonde Essex girls "with not a lot to say".

9.03 - Billy is wearing a white headband thing UNDER his long hair. Intriguing. He gets about 65% cheers, 20% boos, 15% utter indifference.

9:06 - In he goes. The girls aren't as frenzied this time around, but there are a fair few twinkly eyes looking him up and down.

9:08 - Next new bloke. Jonathan, 49. Millionaire. President of unidentified media company. Hedonist. "Professional showoff". Surprise surprise, he claims to be very blunt and always says what he thinks, etc etc. Can't see how he's going to fit in. Might be interesting if he turns out to be a bit of a perv.

9:10 - He looks delighted to see the twins. Shabs is trying to set him up with Carole already.

9:15 - So 2 new guys down, 2 to go. I am giddy with anticipation at Mr. Cosmic Ordering I.T Mummy's Boy. Can he live up to this build-up?

9:17 - New bloke number 3 is Liam, 22. Tree surgeon. "I'm always on the lookout, prowlin' about," he says of his liking for women. Way to sound like a rapist, buddy. He claims to dislike bitchiness. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

9:19 - In he goes...and the girls are back on frenzy setting, especially the twins. Ziggy looks unsure - this guy is a proper lad, the first in the house really.

9:22 - The next new guy. He's Brian, 19, a flash "party boy" and not the nerd I was hoping for. He has an amusing Essex accent, though. On first impressions I think this guy may have a chance of winning. "I'm gonna be glamorous - G-L-A-M-O-R-S." Amazing.

9:24 - Charley seems to know him?! She just screamed her head off and jumped into his arms... did he say her name there?? OK, the twins are on full-on Barbie Girl jelly-and-ice cream hyper mode. Brian seems totally overwhelmed, bless 'im.

Aaargh, we don't find out who's evicted until 10pm! A new post will be set up for that very occasion, readers... See you in 30!

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